Green Pastures, Porches, and Buckets

 

Hitting the ceiling of our human tolerance is a common experience for all of us navigating this journey called “life”. Bumping up against that ceiling happens even more frequently when living as an expatriate in a foreign land.  The cultural differences, the absence of family, the political tensions, the lack of home comforts and a long list of “more”, tests the strands of resilience and grit. Each ceiling hit being unique and different for each of us. The more we bump that ceiling of high stress, the more water in our “buckets” (souls) gets sloshed out.  Without care and attention that bucket can run dry. 

On our recent annual leave, as the plane took off from the Beirut, Lebanon runway, I recognized that I had been bumping up against that ceiling too often and that my bucket had only a little water sloshing around in the bottom.  I asked the Lord to lead me into green pastures and to restore my soul besides still waters as I returned “home”. Darron and I are not used to living in a vast city, so American green space is a feast for our thirsty eyes.

I don’t want to bore you with all our annual leave happenings, but I want to mention highlighted events that brought restoration to us/me. 

Two of my brother’s sons were married.  One at the beginning of our trip and one at the end.  Coming together as family is beyond precious.  Witnessing these unions was refreshing and both wedding weekends involved long walks in vast green pastures. I'll show wedding #1 here and wedding #2 at the end. Wedding #1 was extra special because my oldest brother, Jonathan was there and my nephew Jordan.

Both of those wedding trips included a one-way ride for us in our faithful family van with 3 out of 6 of our adulting children with us for 16+ hours.  The little or long conversations had, and all the simple memories made as we journeyed together were so meaningful to this Mommy heart. I drank in the still waters.

That van ride took us to Tennessee, where my dear self-less 86-year-old mother-in-law threw a birthday party for us June girls.  We figured how to arrange our limited candles to capture all our ages. We had hard, but important and good conversations about family needs. Darron helped Jacob purchase his first car. Interestingly, from a refugee family from the Middle East. I walked for hours beside the green pastures and embraced the still waters at 155 Oak Lane. Our nephew is remodeling a school bus. My niece and I bonded over our Cricut machines.

Then it was Nathaniel's ("the baby") high school graduation. He finished with high honors. The end of an era in our family. Nathaniel intends to study computer science. All the Boyd tribe were present for the graduation day. Bucket filling indeed!

Our next week was hardly “still” as Darron and I spoke at a camp meeting and shared miracle stories from the Middle East.  It was clear that we were both to speak each evening and if you have ever “shared” a time with someone this is both fun and extra challenging.  We embraced the opportunity.  People LOVE stories, so it was a joy for them and us.  Two full 8-hour days we ran a Woven Dignity booth, meeting so many people and promoting the mission and vision of helping refugee women.  https://wovendignity.com/ This also created a space for people to share their stories with us. On Saturday afternoon we had a 1.5-hour seminar.  We expected only a few people to show, but to our deep surprise the room was full.  Many of our former teachers and leaders pressed in.  This was incredibly honoring and humbling to Darron and I and it was like pouring cups of water into our buckets. 

Camp meeting week and the following 2 weeks we were in the same area that all our children were working, all within an hour drive.  So nestled in-between doctor and work appointments, shopping, visiting with friends, we connected with our kids as they worked and did their lives. Often it was on Andrew and Meredith’s back porch.  We spent hours there. Catching up on our own email communication and then visiting.  That back porch looks over a feast of green space. 

I immensely enjoyed time alone with both of my daughter-in-law’s. Celebrating our 20-year-old Jacob’s birthday.  Driving out to the summer camp where our 2 youngest sons were working and watching them in their plays, directing a play and seeing a video that our youngest son had created.  We never get to “cheer” them on.  Showing up 3 times for one week of their lives not only gave them water, but was important water added to our buckets. (This paragraph makes me a bit teary, as I recognize the sacrifice that our children have had to make as we choose to live overseas). I am so grateful that they seem at peace with our choices and are navigating life well.

An incredible blessing to us was the gift of a family’s “extra” home for two weeks at no charge to us.  This home sits on 500+ acres.  Talk about being led into green pastures, with little streams included. There were no expectations. No timetables. No pressure, but for us to just do what we needed to do.  And be.  Simply be.  I could feel my soul being restored. We will always be indebted to these people for trusting us with this time and space.  My bucket was at least half full by now.

My parents came and stayed with us in that home for a couple of nights.  We took in much together and processed some big ideas.  We also stopped at the Whistle Stop for lunch and indulged in one dessert for 4 of us!  We drove over to their place called, “Traveler’s Rest”, a lovely place for soul restoration time with vast green spaces.  My parents helped me catch up on the latest British Royal happenings as we watched the coronation, etc.

Visits with friends were refreshing.  Many of those visits included words we/I needed to hear.  I am grateful for each moment.  Thank you.

Here are the pictures from the 2nd wedding. Joshua and Sydney.

Lastly, but certainly not covering everything, our last 3 days in America were at a restored historic B and B in Wisconsin.  We had the place almost entirely to ourselves.  It was the perfect way to end our time as everything was done.  The doctor’s visits, the friend visits, and the shopping. Also, done were the hard goodbyes to our children and parents…that only get harder the longer we do this. The B and B had an immense screened in porch and overlooked green pastures (imagine that)!

As I peered into my bucket, in this time and space, I recognized that I could leave America saying, “It is well…”.  A little water sloshed out of my full bucket as we landed back into Beirut, Lebanon…but this is life, and I am grateful that I have a direct connection with the One who gives living water. Even in a space where green pastures and still waters are hard to find.

May you take the steps needed to keep your buckets filled. Whether you live overseas (a shout out to all my expatriate friends) or whether you live in your home country. Remember that every ceiling hit will equal water sloshing out: so be intentional to ask for it to be filled back up and LOOK for ways and SEE how it is being filled back up.  I am quite confident that our good Shepard wants to do for you, what He did for me. Buckets of water can be gathered from still waters that sit along green pastures intended for you and me.